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Joke of the Day

"The versatile gay actor wanted to be cast in both ""A Christmas Carol"" and ""A Midsummer Nights Dream"" So he could be both a Bottom and a Topper."

"""Hey, I can see my house from here!"" - homeless people, almost all the time"

"My dad annoyed my mom calling her ""Mother of 7"" until the day she called him ""Father of 4""."

"When I want to trim down my friend's list on FB I give my opinion and let nature do the rest."

"Putting the dog down today. Gonna start by telling him he has a big nose."

"*leaves a ""beautiful eyes"" comment on all your leg selfies"

"1. Bang knee on table - curse life. 2. Check credit card balance. 3. Think back to sweet moment when you banged knee on table."

"Almost a billion dollars have been spent on campaign ads so far. It's a good thing our schools & economy are in great shape or I'd be pissed"

"What's the difference between Americans and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture"

"New Internet acronym: RALSHMICOMN Rolling Around Laughing So Hard Milk Is Coming Out My Nose"