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Joke of the Day

"The versatile gay actor wanted to be cast in both ""A Christmas Carol"" and ""A Midsummer Nights Dream"" So he could be both a Bottom and a Topper."

"Why can't ovaries sail a boat? Because they are not sea-men."

"What do you call a reuben sandwich with a horn? A rye-nocerous"

"Patient: ""How much longer do I have doc? Doctor: ""Ten."" Patient: ""Ten what?"" Doctor: ""Nine..."""

"What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day? A coffin break."

"Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !"

"If anyone wants a tiger let me know. I bought one but he's being a d-bag and won't wear the matching sunglasses I bought us."

"Why is the UK suddenly a happy place? Because now they too have a day to light fireworks on!"

"My Problem Is Making Puns People call my jokes Punfunny. See I told you!"

"What do Eskimos and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal!"