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Joke of the Day

"I thought about getting a pocket calculator... ...but then I realized I don't care how many pockets I have."

"My wife said she's had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up. So I just packed my bags and right."

"I'm telling you to go to hell because I'm poor. If I was rich I would kill you."

"What did A say to B about : and D? They seem happy when they are together - :D"

"I'm so poor I can't even pay for my own consequences."

"Internet Explorer says I must have cookies turned on. I've licked them seductively what more can I do?"

"How many Apple workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to over hype the new lightbulb and one to make sure it breaks within a year."

"If I see you being rude to a waitress, I'll spit in your food myself."

"What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? I don't know and I don't care!"

"I've been waking up with a headache for years Unfortunately I'm married to it."