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Joke of the Day

"Nic Cage was a straight A highschool student but he slacked off one semester. When he got his report card, he shouted ""Bs! Not the Bs!"""

"As I was going through my wallet for a second I thought I got robbed... And then I remembered I got gas."

"Unemployed people I have some jokes about the unemployed. Actually it doesn't matter none of them work Edit: I do not mean to cause any offence to the unemployed it is merely meant as a joke."

"[NSFW] What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? They both get to smell it, but can't eat it."

"Q: What did one strawberry say to the other? A:""Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"""

"My son cuddled up to my bump and was talking about how he could see the baby and it would have been cute if I were pregnant."

"How did Godzilla escape the trains? He threw them off their tracks."

"Half of my life has been spent hoping people don't see me."

"I went to see my doctor about my insomnia. Not sure he appreciated me knocking on his door at 3AM."

"What do a woman and a bar have in common? Liquor in the front, poker in the back."