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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when David Lynch directs a remake of The Godfather? Someone who makes you an offer you can't understand."

"I don't care how old I am, I will see Finding Dory."

"Did you hear about the mathematician ghost? ""No"" Well, Its the spirit that counts."

"Definition of a tree.... Something that spends 100 years growing so that it can jump out in front of unsuspecting women drivers"

"What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them"

"The only food in Hell is the part of the popcorn kernel that gets stuck between your teeth. Also they have an Olive Garden."

"What insect lives on nothing ? A moth because it eats holes"

"Why did the child have two black eyes? Because telling them once wasn't enough."

"I had a friend who claimed he didn't see race... I didn't believe him until the 5K incident"

"I climbed on this seesaw with Rick Astley 3 hours ago. *sigh He's never gonna let me down."