81990

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between sex and a corporation? In sex the person on top does most of the work"

"I'm Lactose Intolerant, which means I rarely find missing children."

"An atom is mugged by another atom... A bystander asks if he's OK. ""I think he got away with my favorite electron,"" he answered. ""Oh no! Are you sure?"" ""Yup, I'm positive."""

"Why did Bill Gates & Warren Buffett once have me quickly kicked out of a game of bridge? When it was my turn to bid I kept saying, ""Go fish""."

"CONDUCTOR: all aboard! ME: i'm pretty bored CONDUCTOR: no, i meant everyone on the train ME: oh, i'm sure they're bored too"

"Have you heard the new Jingle for Subway? Five... five toddlers... five toddlers, touched dongs... pedo pedo pedo!"

"What do you call a Cloyster that wants to learn the move Rain Dance? The clam before the storm!"

"BABY COW: [points at human] What's that? OLDER COW: That is a milk dracula"

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend. Perfectly regulated office temperatures are a girl's best friend."

"Hired a violent monkey to beat up my enemies. I call him Injurious George."