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Joke of the Day

"""Ok Noah, that's 2 of everything! Did I see a 3rd sheep in your office tho?"" Nope ""Yea I did, it had lipstick on?"" Nope, raise the anchor"

Next Joke
 
"Going to dress up as a Jedi today and open automatic doors for people with the force. NO YOU GET A LIFE."
"If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes"
"just saw a political argument on twitter that ended with everyone deciding that they disagreed but respected each other's opinions lol jk"
"Lazy people fact #4564321564 You were too lazy to read that number."
"What do you call someone who steals a glacier? An iceberglar"
"My boyfriend wakes me up when he wants to have sex... Do I wake him up when I want to buy shoes???... No!!!"
"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken... I'll see myself out now.."
"NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIDE DISH I'M BRINGING BUT I'M ANNOYED SO IT WILL BE SOMETHING MASHED"
"""Houston we ... are fine."" Female astronaut probably"