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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine sold an old rifle he inherited from his German grandfather. The ad says: ""French-made rifle. From WW2. Never used. Only dropped once."""

"You said you run for fun? You know we have the internet now?"

"I ride a dog to work... The commute's a bitch!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cash ! Cash who ? Cash me if you can !"

"When someone has coordinates in their bio, I feel the need to alert their local police, to counter all the psychos en route to murder them."

"What is the best way to circumcize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"I saw your mother kicking a can down the street with one shoe. I asked her if she'd lost a shoe. ""Naw, found one"""

"Tell me your favourite version of The Aristocrats"

"This hot fudge sundae hasn't killed me so it must be making me stronger."

"What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient? There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!"