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Joke of the Day

"I saw your mother kicking a can down the street with one shoe. I asked her if she'd lost a shoe. ""Naw, found one"""

Next Joke
 
"What is a vampires favourite type of ship? A blood vessel."
"I repaired my watch with some old parts. It's got a second-hand second hand."
"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."
"""It behooves you."" -Inventor of the horseshoe, explaining to a dubious horse."
"The Cannibal threw up his hands in frustration."
"OMG THIS IS SUCH A SURPRISE THE THOUGHT OF WINNING AFTER A NOMINATION IS A PHENOMENA THAT BLOWS MY MIND HOW DID IT HAPPEN - All Emmy winners"
"What do you call a carrot that repeats everything you say? WOAH! BACK UP, BACK UP. You've seen a TALKING CARROT?"
"""The floor is lava"" -Everyone, Pompeii, 79 A.D."
"T NOW!"" What do we want? ""MORE TIME TRAVEL JOKES!"" When do we want them? ""RIGH"