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Joke of the Day
"How do you upset a plumber? Kidnap his princess."
Next Joke
"Having a bit of a lazy day... sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss doesn't look amused"
"I'm not saying the character Merida was modeled after me, but I too would rather win an archery contest than be married."
"Yes hello 911, I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and now there's a wormhole in my kitchen"
"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a dick up your ass!"
"An Oedipus slip is where you say one thing... ...and fuck your mother."
"It's hard to look like a badass when you're slurping on a strawberry smoothie."
"That's it! No more dick jokes! I'm only doing jokes about intellectual topics, like finance! Today the Vietnamese Dong remained firm against the Zambian Kwacha."
"Dreams can come true. For example, One night I dreamed that I was poor, sad and alone after three months the dream come true."
"hello and welcome to Fantasy Football *Dumbledore passes ball to Frodo* *Gandalf intercepts football and eats it*"