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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside."

"Did you hear about the two deaf men who walked into a bar? Neither did they."

"An Apple computer walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""What'll it be, Mac?"""

"DO NOT OPEN.PLEASE. I like you, you little rebel."

"I started playing water polo the other day It was all fun and games until my horse drowned"

"My girlfriend was taking a survey online about ""Which holiday describes your sex life?"" She wasn't happy with me when I chimed in, ""Day of the Dead."""

"I do this fun trick at parties where no one there likes me so I don't go."

"I'm extending the weekend one MORE day for everyone. I talked to your boss, (s)he said no problem as long as you dress slutty on wed."

"Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"""I love watching myself in the mirror while I shoot dope."" Said Tom in vain."