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Joke of the Day

"I hate when my tattoo guy asks if he can take pics for his website and then I wake up the next day realising I don't have any tattoos."

"According to this box of spaghetti I am an Italian family of 8"

"Unfortunately I lost my Korean friend the other day. So Yung."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick!!"

"My dad was born with a conjoined twin He was the uncle on my dad's side. But don't worry, the doctors were able to separate them. Now he's my uncle once removed."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cookie ! Cookie who ? Cookie quit and now I have to make all the food !"

"A man walks out of a bar Which is weird, considering it's a solid object."

"Another reason I find children so menacing are their tiny little teeth."

"Today I Called Shotgun... And the cop still put me in the backseat..."

"I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week."