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Joke of the Day

"my thigh gap is just a painted tunnel by Wile E. Coyote"

"You know the Amish are people of simple values but did you know they are some of the most sexual people? .... It's true, their women require at least 2 Mennonite!"

"Why didn't the scarecrow win his award? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"A child is being pushed around in a pink toy convertible while eating a chocolate frosted donut, and I want to ask her how she got this job."

"Why is sleeping with a weatherman always disappointing? Because he always promises 10-12 inches, but you only ever get 2-3."

"[handing out condoms to trick or treaters] give these to your parents, I don't want more of you coming back next year"

"Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents."

"[gathers around casket and see's it's full of gatorade] uh oh, then that means [grandma's body is being dumped over the winning coach]"

"Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read ""BEAR LEFT"" so they went home."

"How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep? She reads them pig tales."