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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to make a joke about the new Call of Duty... ...but there are already infinite of them So here's a Battlefield one instead"

"Why did Kobe Bryant go to New Jersey after he got arrested? Because he needed one."

"I couldn't work for that man anymore, especially now after what he said to me. He said, ""You're fired"""

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged and took it like a champ"

"Do you know how I got out of Iraq? Iran"

"What do you call a Nun in a Wheelchair? Virgin Mobile."

"Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha."

"There once was a man from Peru Whose limerick was three lines too few."

"What did Horatio say to the pathological liar in CSI: Miami? Won't get fooled again!"

"The guy in front of me is buying a pregnancy test....I bet this is the only time he would rather be buying tampons."