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Joke of the Day

"Helen Hunt but only when Helen hungry."

"I tried to visit a new subreddit /r/god All I got was ""there doesn't seem to be anything here"". Check. Your move, religionists"

"3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees."

"*Crosses fingers* *Fingers plan their revenge*"

"The Doctor says: ""Mrs Jones, I think your 7 year old is watching way too much TV"" ""How can you tell?"" asked Mrs Jones ""He just asked me if Cialis is right for him"""

"Don't put a question mark where God put a period. "

"How do you know If your girlfriend is Canadian? Look at her beaver."

"Humans are like ketchup on a steak People look at you funny when you eat them"

"So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me: What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone? You skip them both."

"I shake my bottled water so the H's & O's are evenly distributed."