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Joke of the Day

"I love when couples get sick together because that's what people deserve for being happy."

"Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease? A. Because they're all pigs."

"What's the difference between a penis and a sleeping bag? One you crawl in and the other crawls in you."

"Why didn't they just call the Selfie Stick a NarcissiStick?"

"You're one in a million China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you."

"You totally had me at ""I want you"" and I was so excited, I completely missed the "" To leave me alone"" part....Sorry my bad."

"Pigs Standing next to pig processing plant when I heard all the machines firing up and smoke started bellowing from the stacks. Only thought is, man that place is going full boar"

"What do you call the total pay from your jobs as a garbageman, a sewage plant worker, and a drug smuggler? Your gross income."

"Girl, are you a useless, obscure and unimportant punctuation mark? Because I want to interro-bang you"

"How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb? It depends on the definition of lightbulb."