80920

Joke of the Day

"I like to squat down, wrap my arms around my knees, and lean forward. That's how I roll..."

"Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: They're trying to get away from the noise."

"TIFU by trying to catch fog I mist"

"What do you call it when Kony drinks too much? Cognac"

"Walter White decided to buy a pizza for his son Walter: Hey son I bought you a pizza so you can share it with your friends. Flynn: Thanks dad, how much do I owe you? Walter: It's on the house."

"How Long is a China-man? I always thought he was Korean."

"""You're beautiful. No, you're beautiful! No, No, you're Beautiful. No No No. You're beautiful."" -Girls on Facebook Profile Pictures"

"How do you stop a North Korean tank? Shoot the guy driving the cardboard box."

"*pulls away from kissing* JUDGE: That was unexpected and kind of nice, but you're still guilty."

"My neighbor said the next time he comes over he's bringing the whole family, so I told him I couldn't wait and then I burned my house down."