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Joke of the Day

"Some say English is tough... Some say English is tough, it can be understood through thorough thought though."

"What's the definition of an Irish homosexual? One who likes women more than beer"

"What do you do with an infected chemist? You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium"

"How does Tinkerbell pleasure herself? She hides inside a flower and waits for a butterfly to extend its proboscis."

"If Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are on a boat together, and it sinks, who survives? America"

"What body movements alert you that a politician is lying? His lips are moving."

"Whenever I throw bread at the birds in the river I always miss Because they duck."

"Received definitive proof I'm going blind AND senile this morning as I just attempted to pinch zoom the newspaper."

"When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, ""no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."""

"Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia? Because he was Snowden"