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Joke of the Day

"Where do crows go to buy groceries? Kroger"

"What's the best part about fucking twentythree year olds? There's twenty of them."

"What's blue and smells like red painting? Blue painting"

"Wow, 5 years ago we had Steve Jobs and Neil Armstrong. Now we have no jobs and no arms."

"Why did God make man before woman? You need a rough draft before you have a final copy."

"I'm so broke... I gotta jerk off the dog to feed the cat"

"Being a teacher is great, I only work a half day 12 hours/day. Thank you, don't forget to tip your TA, I'll be here all week (M-F except Federal Holiday) folks!"

"What type of bonds deals with the bad guys? James"

"Do you think Hitler got his inspiration from Hansel and Gretel? They did shove a long nosed witch into an oven."

"How to be a white girl: 1.) Get a frappuccino from Starbucks 2.) take a picture drinking it 3.) Instagram it 4.) hash tag 'summerrrrrrrrr'"