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Joke of the Day

"I was a pizza delivery guy once, but only for a day. They gave me 12 pizzas to deliver and I just never came back."

"How do you know if someone went to Harvard? They tell you."

"(Quick one-liner joke:) Why are pretty women like pianos? Because when they're not upright, they're grand!"

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster, then he rolled over and fell asleep."

"What do you call someone who rapes a king? A penetraitor."

"What's the difference between light and hard? I can sleep with a light on."

"I wonder what my wife's favourite US state is. Maybe Alaska."

"What did the mushroom say to the chef? Don't eat me! I'm a fun guy!"

"What's the difference between a refugee and E.T? E.T learned English and wanted to go home."

"A 25 year old just told me she's gonna rock my world. I'm 47 so I assume she's gonna show me where to buy comfortable shoes & soft licorice"