80494

Joke of the Day

"If I've said it once, I've said it one hundred times. I'd rather listen to an auto-tuned queef played on a loop over and over, than listen to Lady Gaga's performance at the Grammy's again."

"I'm far too cute to only have one ex-husband."

"A woman site down next to a man in a bar and says, ""You smell good, What do you have on?"" The man says, ""I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."""

"What were the polite Egyptians running away from? DaRUDE Sandstorm"

"Who is dear & near friend... Who's hot... Its U, Who's Charming... Its U, Who's Sweetest.. Its U, Who's Intelligent... Its U, Who's dear & near friend... Its U, Who's a liar.. Its me"

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."

"Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer."

"End Jokes/Quotes from the tv series QI - Season 2 & 3 humorous quotes, funny stories, and jokes by Stephen Fry at the end of each episode of the show."

"You can't ban me from your neighborhood just because I ""look scary"" and ""want to kill you."" That's discrimination."

"So I wrote a Musical It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed. I decided to write it in A flat minor."