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Joke of the Day

"Inspired by Baby Jesus, I'm hoping to get nailed this weekend."

"There's 3 things I hate about r/jokes people who think they know the punchline and misleading titles."

"Did you hear about the lesbian couple who couldn't afford a double-headed dildo? They were having trouble making ends meet"

"Teacher: Fill out the parent form. Me: Why? Teacher: So I can contact you if your kid gets in trouble. Me: *writing* Raised. By. Wolves."

"Why didn't the scarecrow win his award? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"I wish there was an emotional song about that moment you realize you're almost done with your burrito. Get on that, Taylor Swift."

"Hey, Sean Bean, it's either Shaun Baun or Seen Been. You can't have it both ways."

"How do you know you're a Seattle Seahawk? A butler serves you."

"Why do Zelda and Link smoke weed? Because they live in the kingdom where the hyrule."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean."