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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend Likes to dress up like her self and act like a bitch."

"Rick astley will let you borrow any movie from his collection of Pixar films except one. He's never going to give you Up."

"A man walks into a bar And the bar happened to be at crotch level and it hurt like a motherfucker"

"yo momma so stupid when her gas ran out, she sold her car to pay for her petrol."

"Went to ""The Social Network."" I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids."

"Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing."

"I've learned from my mistakes. I make bigger and better mistakes than ever now."

"Hitler has heard that the Americans have liberated Normandy Hitler: It's over Eva. Everything's a disaster. We might as well call this Disaster Day. Eva: Why not just call it D-Day?"

"Why did (do?) cavemen drag their women by the hair? if the dragged them by their feet they'd fill up with mud."

"I know what a bird can do that you can't. Whistle through its pecker."