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Joke of the Day
"I delete enough tweets to know I should never get a tattoo."
Next Joke
"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it"
"It must be really expensive to be in a lesbian relationship, they eat out all the time."
"Why do baby boomers like fracking so much? Because figuratively breaking the country apart isn't enough."
"Don't you hate those people who are obsessed with tracking their steps? Fucking pedophiles."
"Definition of 1ply toilet paper. Finding your inner self."
"What's long, black and doesn't work? The unemployment line."
"How does everyone have so much to say? All I want to do is eat and stare at stuff."
"I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said NaBrO."
"What kind of headphones are sold in 50 shades of grey? Beats"