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Joke of the Day
"A termite walks into a bar... and asks, ""Is the bar tender here?"""
Next Joke
"Santa keeps his suits in the clauset."
"Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive."
"What Were Mussolini's Secret Police Called? The Gazpacho"
"I went running today but came back after 5 minutes because I forgot something I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes."
"me: did you know beethoven was deaf date: the dog? me: of course the dog"
"What do Abraham Lincoln and Ryan Fitzpatrick have in common? Neither of them can finish a play"
"What's the difference between an egg and a root? You can beat an egg, but you can't beet a root!"
"The guy who proofread Hitler's speeches was a Grammar Nazi."
"The cow says ""Moo."" The pig says ""Oink."" The dog says Ed..ward."