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Joke of the Day

"A termite walks into a bar... and asks, ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"My wife is leaving me I was having sex with her twin when she came in. I tried telling her I was doing it because thought it was her. She didn't buy it. It didn't help that his dick was in my ass."

"What is a East Indian child's favourite game? Hide and go Sikh"

"What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? Synonym Toast Crunch If you said Synonym Life, please leave."

"Today my grandpa told me I couldn't even bait a hook. Well he's never been more wrong. I consider myself a master baiter."

"I've been making an effort lately to be better with women. I'm trying to be more assertive, as well as insertive."

"3 (calls out): daddy I'm cleaning the floor with a mob. Me: you mean a mop? (enters to see 100 people licking the floor) no ok that's a mob"

"My neighbour has diabetes and now she won't make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me."

"I miss being able to use the excuse ""I wasn't home when you called""."

"What's a Latino pornstar's favorite flavor profile? Umami. (Ooooooooh, mami.)"