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Joke of the Day

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, then they'd be called bagels!"

"What did the sadist do to the masochist? nothing."

"Yeah I'm married, but get one thing straight, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanfdsskk THIS IS SHAUN'S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT."

"My girl threw this one at me right before bed: ""Do you know why I don't like going to the dentist?"" Because they always do a full cavity search!"

"Religion is like a penis It's OK to be proud of yours, just don't try to shove it down your children's throat."

"Everybody at this intervention is telling me I have a drug problem but I'm not the one with a melting eagle face & gyrating serpent arms."

"People on this plane got so uptight when I used the bathroom to change into my PJs. Llike they've never seen a man in a nightgown before."

"There is nothing wrong with sex before marriage... ... as long as it doesn't delay the wedding."

"The blonde couldn't add Question: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? Answer: She couldn't find the 10 key."

"Don't look for a job in a funeral company It's a dying industry"