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Joke of the Day

"Friend: Hey dude, tell me a joke. Me: Pussy. Friend: I don't get it? Me: I know you don't..."

"What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? A cock thats up all night!"

"What do the jingle bell rock and an irritating girl with a cold commenting on a YouTube video have in common? A one horse sleigh And one *hoarse* ""slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay"" (omg yaaaaaasssss)"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is very heavy and the other is a little lighter."

"I heard a joke about the swiss the other day But the punch line was too cheesy to repeat."

"Political Correct'ness has gone too far! Did you hear you can't even say 'black paint' anymore??? No! You have to say: 'Please paint the wall DeMarcus' instead."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field!"

"*cleans house while wife's out* W: *walks in* wow babe, thanks so- M: APRIL FOOL'S *runs around making huge mess til it's worse than before*"

"[showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. ""You named your daughter Jack?"" Nope, mittens"

"""Children, stop biting grandpa's nails... ...or I'll close the coffin!"""