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Joke of the Day

"Cons of being on The Walking Dead: Almost everyone you know is dead & the world is a desolate zombie wasteland Pros: No more Adobe updates!"

"Knock knock... The pilot, let me in!!!!"

"If Billy Mays were a farmer... And he ran a really good corn maze during the spring, it would be called the ""Amazing May Mays Maize Maze."""

"What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies? My Dick."

"Just said ""No you can't have an apple because you'll spoil the pizza that's being delivered very soon."" I shouldn't be allowed to parent."

"Why can't you believe what an atom tells you? Because they make up everything!"

"Wake up, kids! Bees can't even read, much less spell. IT'S A SCAM!"

"A cop just knocked on my door and said that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes..."

"There are almost no problems that cannot be solved by adding puppies into the equation... except for world hunger...which come to think of it, they can also solve."

"Two Peanuts were walking down a dark alley. One was a salted."