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Joke of the Day

"I said to my girlfriend, ""Please get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,""she replied, ""you can borrow my iPad."" That spider never knew what fucking hit it."

"One year later after Pavlov's dog death... Pavlov still brings him food."

"Last weekend, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie tied the knot in a small intimiate ceremony attended by 20 of their closest children."

"Yo mama is so slutty.... I saw her on a box of wheaties with her legs wide open, saying breakfast for champs."

"TIFU by eating a U-Boat. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Oh the Irony.... My predictive text doesn't know how to spell Nostradamus."

"How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? More than 4, because my basement is still dark."

"I heard fish is good for your brain but now I can't get the smell out of my hair"

"Top Rated Videos: OOps! Fail Blackflip .Hahaha Looser!!! http://streetpranks.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/funny-poor-boy-sweet-backflip-lollss.html"

"Your swag is gonna look amazing on that Burger King application."