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Joke of the Day
"Two goldfish are in a tank... One turns to the other and says: ""You man the guns, I'll drive"""
Next Joke
"You can remove a book's appendix without any problem. But spinal damage is usually fatal."
"Why did God invent the yeast infection? To show girls what it's like to live with an annoying cunt."
"I'll never be as horrified as the kid who suddenly realizes they've been following the wrong ""mom butt"" at the grocery store."
"Learning to love yourself is important. Just don't let your wife catch you doing it."
"I just made up a new word Derpflarp"
"What do you call the misuse of a meme? A misdememer."
"Always wondered why female sentence fragments are so chill No period"
"My wife: ever since you got on twitter you never listen or talk to me any more. Me: yeah spaghetti for sure!"
"Take your height in centimeters and multiply it by the number of people from whom you have received oral sex. There's your credit score."