204114

Joke of the Day

"You can remove a book's appendix without any problem. But spinal damage is usually fatal."

"I'm going to keep using 'penis' as a verb until someone lets me penis them."

"What do singers get during their periods? Minstrel cramps."

"Got myself a Microsoft advent calendar but I'm worried that once I've opened 3 or 4 windows I won't be able to open any more..."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow almost any movie from his Pixar collection. But he's never gonna give you Up"

"You think I'm not online. But, I'm always here. Even if I'm not posting. I'm here. Scrolling...Judging."

"Hey sexy granny, you better call life alert Because I've fallen for you and can't get up"

"Husband -Talking to wife I have a problem Wife - how many times must i tell you that it is ""we,"" ""we have a problem"". Husband - Ok, sweetie, we have a problem. My secretary is having our baby"

"What's the difference between a redwood and a dead baby? A redwood won't fit in a wood chipper."

"ME: I cant make it in today BOSS: again? why M: my car died B: that's the same excuse you used yesterday M: yeah but today's the funeral"