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Joke of the Day

"Why did Snoo not check out a library book? Because he had already Reddit."

"Did you hear about the Vietnam veteran who became a sewage worker? He's seen some shit."

"Why does the lawyer hate doing pro-bono work? Because he fucking hates U2."

"Did you hear about the man who was hit over the head with a bobble-head in a rice field? It's the first reported case of a knick knack paddy whack."

"A very tough question to answer If con is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress?"

"My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously. So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter."

"What do you get when you combine a recliner with a fruit? A chairy."

"I ordered the CliffsNotes version of Snooki's book and they sent me a bar menu, a printout of the urban dictionary and an STD pamphlet."

"Doe A deer, a female deer. Ray A hunter, with a gun."

"Sayings always said with sarcasm. Any examples? I hate to say I told you so. No sarcasm: I...I truly hate to say I told you so."