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Joke of the Day

"*saves baby from burning building* ""How can I ever repay you?!"" Favstar in the bio ""Oh I don't have Twi-"" *returns baby to burning building*"

"Yeah yeah ""Friends with Benefits"" are cool but have you tried ""Friends with Batteries""? Less drama!"

"What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!"

"[offensive] What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country"

"What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf? You get eaten is what you get. Stop upsetting scary animals."

"i just thought of a funny line to use in my old age ""when i am having trouble peeing, i look down, and tell my penis to stop being a dick, and get on with it."""

"What do plums and bunnies have in common? They're both purple, except bunnies...bunnies aren't purple :/"

"I don't smoke to be cool, I smoke so no one asks me to hold their baby."

"Irritating An irritating friend took a drink from my wife's beer and said, ""Ha,Ha, this is one step from kissing your wife!"" ""Yes it is,"" I replied, ""and two steps from sucking my dick."""

"I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian."