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Joke of the Day

"Yeah yeah ""Friends with Benefits"" are cool but have you tried ""Friends with Batteries""? Less drama!"

"Banks are like girlfriends... ...they just want all your money."

"It's one of those days where you'll be lucky not to see me on the news."

"People usually say I make bad jokes. I tell them I'm not their parents."

"What idiot named it balding & not vanishing into thin hair."

"God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan"""

"Q: What kind of snake is it good to have on a car? A: Windshield vipers."

"Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it."

"I'm glad they call themselves attorneys-at-law. I wouldn't want to accidently hire an attorney-at-baking or an attorney-at-pottery."

"I hope I don't get rheumatoid arthritis.. Fingers crossed."