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Joke of the Day

"The stock market plunge of 2008 was worse than a divorce... I lost half of everything, but I still have my wife!"

"Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"I've been a right-leaning man for most of my life Fuck scoliosis."

"My 4chan joke Knock knock Who's there? 4chan 4chan who? Niggers"

"Medication for depression ""may cause thoughts of suicide"". If this were so for all meds then: Diet Pills..may cause ravenous hunger"

"I like my wine like I like my women. 10 years old and locked in a wooden crate in my basement."

"What's the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and an Art History degree? The pizza can feed a family of four."

"I would like to start a career in boxing, but I couldn't find any promotor But then I can just send a tweet to Donald Trump"

"Did you hear about the cow who couldn't give milk? She was an udder disappointment."

"I prefer my babies *shaken, not heard*"