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Joke of the Day

"Auto correct tries to change the word ""pussies"" to ""Aussies"".... Just saying."

"Yoga is really kicking in. I'm seeing the definition in my arms and overall flexibility. My vibrator is gonna be really impressed."

"I hate tacos Said no Juan ever."

"This comes from a good place in my heart, homeless people build the best forts I've ever fucking seen."

"I just drove in from a Transformers convention... ... and boy, are my arms tires!"

"After watching Honey Boo Boo, I realize America has much bigger problems than the national debt."

"Boss left his email open. Me: *looks around, send email to district manager ""i love you"" Now we wait"

"Why did Toronto host the (hockey) World Junior Championships? They wanted to see what a winning team looked like."

"Old witch: Now I know you want a job with me. Do you tell lies? Young witch: No but I can pick it up."

"Where does Noah store his bees? The ark-hives."