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Joke of the Day

"First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist."

Next Joke
 
"Fat jokes aside, let's not forget fat people have feelings too Hunger"
"Two women were driving on the highway when the traffic rapport broadcast said there was a car driving in the opposite direction. ""One? There are hundreds of them"""
"I had lunch at Uri Geller's house the other day... It was terrible. I ended up with soup all down my front."
"What do you call a butthurt white guy? A salty cracker."
"They say people and their pets start to look alike, which is why George Clooney is now tied to a tree in my backyard."
"What does Walter White say when someone tells him a knock-knock joke? Nothing, because he is the one who knocks."
"Need help with a joke!!! Not sure if this is allowed, but I need a joke that involves the word ""statesmen"" for a contest with my friends. Please help!"
"Jared's favorite dressing on his Subway sandwich is Neverland Ranch. I'm sorry."
"Sorry for not ever wearing a shirt but my father was killed in one and I'm not about to make the same mistake."