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Joke of the Day

"MISSING HER SHE SAID SHE DON'T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, THEN I WON 300,00 DOLLARS AND NOW SHE WANTS ME......I GAVE HER A DOLLAR AND TOLD HER WENDY'S IS OPEN.....LOL"

"My uncle died from a turtle stampede. It was a slow death."

"My clients have a 86% survival rate, which makes me an above-average babysitter."

"Why did Hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Arnold ! Arnold who ? Arnold friend of yours is a friend of mine !"

"I'm old enough to remember when a selfie was some lotion and a box of Kleenex."

"How do you confuse a blonde? You don't... They're born that way"

"Been going to the gym now for 6 weeks and have noticed some huge improvements. For one, they've fixed the water cooler."

"On talk shows, whenever the celebrity guest takes a casual sip from their branded mug, I like to imagine it's full of blood"

"What's a caterpillar afraid of? A dogerpillar (Thank you Laffy Taffy for the ~~worst~~ best joke I've ever heard)"