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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when the neighbor's dog gets out because I accidentally pick the lock on their gate, leave it open, and put down a trail of food"

"Did you know that most statistics are made up? Around 93,7%"

"Why do potheads only steal from other potheads? Otherwise there's nothing worth toking."

"My co-worker walks by holding asprin in his hand... He says, they say the weakest link in the chain goes first, I guess that's my head."

"Did you hear about the Quasimodo look alike contest? The police had to break it up when the crowd turned ugly."

"What is a pirate's favorite TV show? EEEEEE-YARRRRRRRR"

"Why was the car theif not able to steal the wooden car Because he couldn't drive stick!"

"So Lisa said she wanted to be friends with benefits Where's my dental plan, you slut? (source, college humor)"

"LIKE if you remember what it was like to take a ton of pictures only to wait a week to find out they were useless."

"got a fake ID w a picture of shrek on it. works everytime. bought ten shrek dvds w it just this morning. lady at the counter didnt say SHIT"