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Joke of the Day

"I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out. It felt good being on the winning side for once."

"A juice bar called Just Kale Yourself."

"I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey... ...but then I turned myself around."

"It's perfectly fine to offer raisins to a guest (if nuclear winter is upon us & you're living in an underground bunker)"

"How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, anarchists can't change anything."

"Did you hear the one...? Did you hear the one about the Concubine and the Muse...? Fucking Inspirational...!!!"

"What does a dog see in the mirror? A chair"

"A recent survey showed that most UK citizens don't eat salad... 52% of them voted against romaine"

"I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes."

"I just had the worst blowjob ever it was fantastic"