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Joke of the Day

"Why are artificial intelligences in movies always female? Because they're never wrong"

"Google: We know people like jacks, so on our new Pixel phone... We jacked up the price."

"Spent $200 on a Chinese hooker and was horny again an hour later"

"I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape. I should get a new keyboard."

"What do you call a vegetable that's only kinda cool? Radish"

"In America, we decide to bomb people after a week of reflection, but have debated the legality of smoking a plant for 40 years"

"What do you call a two-headed lesbian dinosaur? Eat-a-lotta-puss"

"The junkie tried but couldn't quit All of his efforts were in vein"

"(UK) Did you hear about the new brand of shampoo for pikeys? Go 'n' Wash"

"My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said ""WTF man, it's 2015. You can use whatever printer you want."""