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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins are in an oven One turns to the other and says ""So how are we going to get out of here?"" The other screams ""GAH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"My wife said she wanted to have sex like in the movies.. ..so I fucked her in the arse and came on her face and in her hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies."

"I hate adjectives Because they're terrible! \_()_/ "

"What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving off a cliff? [A Good Start.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obKLdou0LH0)"

"I'm no cactus expert. But, I know a prick when I see one."

"There was a praying mantis in my room so I stealthily grabbed a shoe and smashed my 2nd-story window and jumped out."

"There's a man with two penises? That's nothing, I once knew a guy with FIVE penises... ...and his pants fit like a glove."

"What do you call a black guy in a cockpit? A pilot, you racist bastard."

"""Sorbet"" is a French word that means, ""I wish it was ice cream."""

"iPhone changed miles to milf's but the good news is my dad thinks I only have 177 left to go until I'm done."