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Joke of the Day

"ALERT At 9:20am, I lost an apostrophe. Last seen in the word ""Let's"". If you see it, please send it home. Its tweet misses it."

"What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker? Putin on the Ritz."

"What kind of baby appears when an Eskimo and a Japanese person have sex? Ugg Li"

"Boss: Have I made myself clear? Me: No, I can still see you. Boss: Shakes head."

"There's a metal band that plays while on soapy water. Slipknot"

"I just found my old Nokia phone from 2003. It still has 87% battery life left."

"Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too"

"Why is 6 scared of 7 Numbers are a conseptional idea thought by humans and as such they are not able to produce emotions and/or think."

"What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common? They both have little boys' jeans half off."

"Ey gurl, is your name Andromeda? Because you got a heavenly body! It's 5:50AM and I still can't sleep."