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Joke of the Day

"I feel bad for Anne Frank She had her diary published for all the world to read, which is every girl's worst nightmare! And she didn't get paid for it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare."

"Love is like a machine... ...sometimes you just need a good screw to fix it."

"Do you like warts? No. Don't worry. They'll grow on you."

"I like my coffee like I like my women! I'm sure whatever you've got is fine. I'm pretty happy with anything."

"My girlfriend tried to tell me an abuse joke But I beat her to the punch"

"A little Harry Potter humour... How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort? You-knew-who"

"[two australians playing chess in a restaurant] check, mate *everyone explodes*"

"What do you call a pastry with an English degree? A synonym roll"

"My friend hates carnival, but his new girl friend makes him go anyway He's so whipped, he might as well dress up as a Saudi Arabian blogger."

"What do you call a road full of giraffes? Giraffic."