196315

Joke of the Day

"First time posting here. I always found this f$%#ed up, but hilarious. Q: Why did Lucy fall off the monkey bars? A: She's got no arms Me: Knock Knock Them: Whose there? Me: Not Lucy."

"My friend started a beer company named ""Dilla"" So I went to the store and bought a case a Dilla."

"Dirty Joke My teacher tells me there are 7 wonders of the world. I think there are only 2. *Vaginas and tits*"

"Finally threw out some old bananas because once they go black you never go back."

"So hard to hurt a vampire's feelings because you can't say ""how do you sleep at night?"" or ""how do you look at yourself in the mirror?"""

"Knock Knock Knock knock Knock knock knock knock KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Whitney, Hurry up in there I gotta take a shit!!!"

"Elmo: Oscar, why are you a grouch? Oscar: Growing up, my parents were- *stabs Elmo with broken beer bottle* CUZ I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN."

"A White Guy. If a white guy is surrounded by 3 black guys, he's getting robbed. 30 black guys, he's a football coach. 300 black guys he's a prison guard."

"Stranger danger is a very real thing. They nearly always react badly to proposals."

"So Steven Hawking walks into a bar..."