77710

Joke of the Day

"What's pink and retarded? A Flamongo."

"Me: *gets on scale* 5yo: Whoa! That's a lot of points!"

"""So I was on a spaceship, and you were there, but it was not you, you know? Anyways..."" - MLK's less important dream"

"Obama: Didn't think he'd be late Biden: I gave him the wrong address Obama: Joe he's the president-elect Biden: idgaf what they call him"

"Two guys who vape walk into a bar I only know because they're naked on the bar blowing their vapes up each others' assholes right now."

"What do you call a cat who takes a shortcut in a race? A Cheetah."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? It's fucking intents."

"How excited are you, on a scale from 1 to white woman who just found out that this dinner party has sangria?"

"Careful girls... fat guys just want to get into your pantries."

"Did you hear about the donut who split from his wife? She's terrible with the kids so he's filling for custody."