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Joke of the Day

"I realized I was an adult when I almost bought napkins instead of taking a wad of free ones from Chipotle. Almost."

"Just found out men can have sex at 88..... which is handy cos I live at 94 so it's not far to walk home after."

"What's 16 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Obama's Tie."

"Teenage sex. Haha-ha...ha...amirite guys?... : {"

"A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand... ... and he says ""Make me one with everything""."

"Police found the neighbourhood paedophile shot in the head 27 times. Authorities ruled it the worst case of suicide in a decade."

"UKIP joke A man walked into a Pakistani book shop and asked the owner if they had UKIP's new book. The shop owner said ""Fuck off, get out and stay out."" So the man replied, yep that's the one."

"The groundhog saw The Shadow and said it was an awful movie."

"What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter? Thank you for your patients."

"Last night I got so drunk I spent an hour apologizing to a tree for saying it's bark was worse than it's bite."