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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what the one vegetable that isn't actually vegan is? Terry Schiavo."

"I tried to walk into Target... But I missed. - Mitch Hedberg RIP."

"While everyone was fighting the walkers... ...who was keeping an eye on Corral?"

"What's Mary short for? She's got little legs, I guess."

"How many French people does it take to bake a baguette? 8. Because then they have wheat."

"I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit."

"A new rumor has surfaced that the next iPhone will feature an all-glass exterior. Because why should just the front be cracked?"

"Have to take my son to speech therapy.. Easier done than said"

"This guy gave me a free copy of his book today. An actual printed copy! I had no idea they were still doing this kind of thing. It's fancy."

"My boss is having a colonoscopy today. I sure hope they find his head."