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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy... ... but some times I just let her sleep."

"If you say ""My Cocaine"" out-loud, you are also saying ""Michael Caine"" in his own voice - MIND OFFICIALLY BLOWN"

"Why doesn't a rooster wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head"

"Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles."

"Heisenberg's wife was unhappy... because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad."

"The neighbours dog has jumped up into my garden so much that he's totally destroyed the fence. Figured here's the best place to get it fixed as everyone is a certified reposter."

"A Collection of Great Comedians Jokes Just found a collection of great comedians jokes and thought I'd share it. [Here's the link!](http://famehorse.com/collection-of-great-comedians-jokes/)"

"I'm giving up spray deodorants for the new year. Roll on 2016."

"my whole right leg fell asleep and my left leg is drawing dicks all over it wtf"

"Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors? So they can see the battle."