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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear something clean? I took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear something dirty? Bubbles is my neighbor."

"what did the locomotive conductor crave once he became a zombie? traaaiins..."

"New Knock-Knock joke? Child: Knock Knock Grandmother: Who's there? Child: [Insert Name] Grandmother: [Insert Name] who? Child: Oh no! You have Alzheimer's! Yes? No?"

"Why don't eggs like comedians? Cause they always crack them up"

"How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years."

"Son, here is a photo of a naked lady. Please identify the following parts: beanplug, malm, The Crow's Eye, underback, velveeta, DataZone"

"OMG you got a new boyfriend? congratulations, who is it this week?"

"Ask me if I'm an orange. No."

"PILOT OVER INTERCOM: I have some bad news, but before I tell you, keep in mind that the Wright bros could only stay airborne for 12 seconds"

"Name your penis after a movie or a game. Oblivion."