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Joke of the Day

"Son, here is a photo of a naked lady. Please identify the following parts: beanplug, malm, The Crow's Eye, underback, velveeta, DataZone"

"Got a Handjob from a Blind Girl last night... She said ""You have the biggest dick i've ever put my hands on"" I said ""Nah, you're pulling my leg"""

"People would often feel hungry after going to a funeral ... In old Greek."

"What did the body-builder say after his house got robbed? No whey..."

"My biggest fears are: -running out of chocolate -running out of coffee -running out of toilet paper -running"

"REALTOR: It's a great neighborhood. Wonderful schools- ME: And the Pokemon? REALTOR: .... sigh. Mostly Pidgeys ME: I think I've seen enough."

"What terrorist group have the most cold blooded killers. ICES ASSASINS... (isis pun).."

"What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today gone tomorrow."

"Dammit I forgot my headphones and I'm at the airport wait here's some for 16 million dollars thank god."

"Can you tease, please and never squeeze Argentina? Yes, but you Gotze try a little tenderness."